Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
