He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
