You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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