I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
