Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
God, I missed his penis.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
