I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
