why didn't you poke me back
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
