ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
