And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
