Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize