it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
