also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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