he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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