If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
MIDGETS
????
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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