it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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