No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
