Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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