i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
