It's like God shit irony all over that family
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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