ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
