no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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