I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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