Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
