Me too!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize