you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
