I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
