Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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