WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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