i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
