If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
