Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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