We got so high we made milksteak
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
