we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
