also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
