after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
