I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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