I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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