Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
