Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
