he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize