I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize