my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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