Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
