Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You can't motorboat a personality
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize