do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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