my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He's on the porch naked. Help.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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