Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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