His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
