i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize