You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize