Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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