Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize