Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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