textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
