shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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