K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
