your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
