Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
