Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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