Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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